men I pray to

The men I loved are the men I pray to. my life in their hands, to mould me as they wish, to dress like they want me to, to be what they want me to,

Interesting, it is. 

Temple bells ring loud and clear, memories splash farther than ever, I close my eyes until one becomes three.

The first time I was on my knees. Wanting to be loved, I shed innocence like it was snakeskin. Ate mice until I grew full, to have the body he wanted me to.

The second time, I danced. 

Prey becomes predator when the snake charms the snake charmer. I charmed him, his eyes spun. I danced to my own rhythm. I flung him along until he was dead weight. Then I left him in the forest.

The third time, I was looking for a way out. Then I found my way in. Carnal desires consumed me, I was on my knees once again. This time, defeated. Bonds from the earth pulled me down until I was dragged down under. I finally get what I deserve.